By Valentines.com

Pre-21t century, the blueprint of a long distance relationship was manifested through writing letters, staying faithful, quickie marriage, financial support, and the promise that eventually the two devotees would be together again in this life or the next. These acts were considered romantic. Today, there are many ways to sustain a long distance relationship using technology; but the biggest indicators of your devotion are how much time you are spending on the other person and how honest you are with them while you are separated.

You may have both decided to give each other free rein while you are apart; it may be that trust is not a factor as long as you don’t regularly date other people. If you find yourself comparing your partner to others when they are not around, you may actually be looking for a way out. However, without coming face to face with your partner you may get used to the routine of “faking it” when you are together. You may like being able to have a “relationship” without the daily work that is required to actually function together.

Long distance romances can leave a lot to be desired, or be the best thing that ever happened to you. Are we settling for each other or have we found perfection?

Predicated on the basis that the couple will have a lot of alone time to develop individually as opposed to having typical down time together in the beginning or for the duration of the relationship, there are obstacles to overcome which make this type of relationship interesting and complex (more so than the regular “situational relationship” based on proximity).

Communication is key to keeping the connection alive as well as vital in making future plans. It is important to separate a healthy long distance relationship from an underdeveloped or convenient long-distance relationship that ensures one of the parties is under the premise that they are still in a serious relationship while the other doesn’t respect any boundaries. It is typically one-sided and up to one person to make every practical aspect materialize, thus unbalanced.

Couples who have a substantial history together before partaking in testy long distance situations are more likely to stay in the relationship than couples that got right into a long-distance relationship before establishing themselves together.

It is also important to note that couples that have individual, completely separate lives can appreciate each other’s differences and find new ways to relate than couples who lead parallel lives and don’t have to work to understand their partner other than superficially, assuming that everyone is content.

The key to fanning the flames is to have chemistry in the first place, understanding the other person’s specific wants (if you have sparks right away it is because you have the right amount of friction!). Aiming blindly will ensure that you are on point for at least a percentage of the time.

What makes your partner tick, are they self-motivated? Is it their friends, family, job and partner which drive them? Are they looking for the same outcome of the relationship as you or are they just in it for the short-term? Do you connect better under the influence, or do you avoid enhancing the mood.

Do your friends think that you make the perfect couple and respect your significant other? Or do they refrain from offering their opinion and acknowledging that person in your life. While nothing is certain, sometimes people will hold on to a partner who gives them the bare minimum rather than look for something better and more fulfilling as long as their basic needs are met. Society does not require that people strive to be above average in relationships or in life.

Another way to gauge your interest level in your long distance relationship is to stop and think about how often you are actually thinking about this person. Is it daily, weekly or monthly? Are you okay with taking frequent breaks? Are you okay with letting them make all of the decisions and long-term plans? Are you looking for ways to spice up and reinvent the relationship when you are together?

If you have overcome circumstance and managed to come together with your partner, you may end up grateful and fortunate that things worked out or you may find yourself trying to keep the same interest level as when you had the challenge of long distance. The dynamic has changed, so each person must adapt accordingly.

There are several ways to keep things interesting; for starters you can try new activities together. You can talk about the experiences you had while you were separated, and the reasons why it was worth it. You may believe that it was fate, which kept you together, or maybe it was that you have so much in common.

Couples who are comfortable as friends may have minimal conflict, but keeping the romance alive is vital. Having a little drama is a sign of passion; platonic “perfection” gets boring fast. Remind each other of your unique history together.

Two people who make each other “better” and naturally keep each other on their toes and are interesting compared to the couple who seems to have aged each other and completely meshed into one. It is important that you are complimentary. Individuals who are put effort into bettering themselves for the sake of their relationship will be happier in the long run because they continue to grow and develop without completely losing themselves. They maintain what they have and do not undergo a huge mental or physical change that will offset the relationship. In essence, they are stabilizing (or “settling” to their current state). This is quite normal and is the way that long-term bonds form.